The Results Are In...

Went back into to see the doctor today to discuss my blood test results.  Guess what?  They were normal.  Now, some of you may think this is a good thing.  It is not.  We (the doctor and I) were hoping for some giant red flags.  Nope.  My iron is very low, but that was it.  The doctor shook her head, said she really does empathize with me but doesn't know what to do.  I can't tell you how many times I have heard, "this is too complicated, I don't know how to help you."  AHHHHHHH!  I see the naturopath next Friday.  She will know more but still it is so discouraging.  I am praying that she will have a confident solid plan for me. 

Once I got in the car after my appointment today, I screamed a cuss word first (I'll leave which one to your imagination) and then I started crying, then I started reminding myself of God's promises and truths.  I just kept saying, "Lord, you created me and knit me together in my mother's womb.  You know the number of hairs on my head.  You know everything that is going on in my body.  I know you created me perfectly and that things have gone astray, and those things are not from you.  Because you are good.  Shed light on this body that you created and show us where things are going wrong."

I know some of you reading this don't know my struggles with my health.  And maybe someday I will go into detail but today, I am too "over it" to talk about it.  It is something that despite all my efforts and the advice of doctors, we can't figure out how to get certain things under control.

When I was walking out of the exam room, the doctor was really bummed and kept saying sorry.  I felt like I needed to say something positive just to get her spirits up, not so much mine.  So I said, "I have three beautiful children, I  am very grateful".  It did make her feel better because my statement was true.  I am very lucky, people who have what I have usually can't have children or have a very hard time.  Which with Carly we did.  I am very thankful for my kids.  I am.  But I hate these issues!  Hate them.  This journey has been so long.  And so emotional.

I am holding out hope for my next appointment.  We have been working with this doctor for Carly's allergies.  She is my age but I trust her knowledge and education in regards to hormones, allergies, and nutrition.  Life is interesting when you are in a desperate state and I am not a quitter so I press on and I won't give up but I just had to shout "THIS SUCKS!" really loud so I can get the frustration out and move on.  Thanks for listening.